The Little Rascals (PG)

‘The Little Rascals’ (PG)

Where you stand on "Little Rascals," Universal Pictures' grubby-fingered attempt to transpose the "Our Gang" series to the '90s, is pretty much where you stand on any comedy in which little children are forced to recite jokes inserted into their mouths by adult gagsters.

The plot is simple: spike-haired Alfalfa (played by 9-year-old Bug -- yes, Bug -- Hall), a member of the He-Man Womun Haters Club, has fallen in love with little Darla (5-year-old Brittany Ashton Holmes). But his compadres are determined to destroy this unhealthy union.

"You are so beautiful to me," croons Alfalfa to Darla. And just when did master Alf first groove on that Joe Cocker song? And when he assures Darla "I'm in touch with my feminine side," does he have any idea what he's talking about?

Of course not. But it was always this way for the "Our Gang" short-film series, which was conceived by Hal Roach in the 1920s, and which evolved into television's "The Little Rascals" in the 1950s. Full of adult-spun ironies, the jokes were parrotted by child actors playing regular characters Spanky, Alfalfa, Darla, Stymie, Buckwheat and others.

Yet this attempt to reproduce the old series still feels stilted -- a see-through marketing impulse more than a creative venture. However, at a recent screening of this movie, 4-year-old moviegoer Ariana Heintzen sat spellbound. She didn't get the grown-up jokes. And the girl-hating stuff didn't seem to phase her. But, asked afterwards if she liked it, she nodded enthusiastically. Her favorite part, she said, was "Everything." Her favorite character, not surprisingly, was Darla, the only significant female in the film.

In marked contrast, Ariana's father, Guian Heintzen, watched "Rascals" with mute, eye-rolling exasperation. As the movie progressed he sank lower in his chair. By the end of the film, he was at eye level with his daughter. He was appalled, he said, at the movie's anti-girl scenario and its lamely concessionary finale in which all boys and girls are miraculously reunited. By then, he declared, the girl-esteem damage was done. He reached for the audience response card handed him by cheery Universal promoters and penciled furiously, while his daughter made her own entries.

There are just about enough humorous scenes for the young to respond to, most notably the one in which Alfalfa sneaks Darla into the boys' clubhouse for a romantic dinner. As the romancers attempt to sup on sandwiches and grape juice, the Womun Haters sabotage the date by sticking a whoopee cushion on Alfalfa's chair, exchanging the grape drink for "sneaker juice" and inserting used kitty litter in the sandwiches.

Adults will have differing opinions on the '90s PC message mongering. ("Couldn't we be a club because we like something?" says Alfalfa), as well as gratuitous grown-up cameos from Daryl Hannah, Mel Brooks, Donald Trump, Whoopi Goldberg, Reba McEntire George Wendt and others. They may even respond positively to the witty insertions. (At one point, world-weary Darla says of Alfalfa, "I gave him the best years of my life.") But if one thing unites parents as one, makes them stand up and cheer, it's likely to be that familiar on-screen credit: "The End."

THE LITTLE RASCALS (PG) — Perpetuates boy-vs.-girl stereotypes and gender enmity.

Copyright The Washington Post

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